By Jayme H. Simões

I first heard the Portuguese rock band Xutos & Pontapés when I was a college student back in the late 1980s. My roommate, Tony Peter, had one of their LPs, and I remember liking it. There was an energy to the music: rock guitar, a punk defiance, and something unmistakably Portuguese.

I made a mix tape, then life moved on, and for a long time, I barely thought about Xutos.

About three years ago, on a drive from New Hampshire to Montréal, my son asked whether there were any rock bands I liked.

Just one name came to me.

“When I was your age, I used to listen to Xutos & Pontapés.”

“Who?”

Out came Spotify. Soon we were listening to “Contentores,” “N’América” and “Não Sou o Único”—songs I had barely heard since the late 1980s.

My reaction was simple: hey, these guys were really good.

Hearing the same songs at a different age

The are good, and still tour. Last fall, I finally saw Xutos live for the first time in Tomar. I’m in my late 50s. Our kids are off at college. I love the people in my life, and I’m grateful for what we have. I also find myself wanting to do things differently.

I want to enjoy the people I care about. But also, make room for adventure: Breaking a few routines before they become the whole story. I want to hope.

Listening now to songs like “N’América” and “Vida Malvada,” I hear a restlessness. That is my reading of these songs that bring up questions of dissatisfaction and a life beyond the predictable.

In “Vida Malvada" we get the routine of a grounded life...

Goodbye to a sane life
Of schedules and lines
Of winter flu
And summer sweat
Goodbye to an orderly life
With its thousand ways of going hungry
Goodbye to crowded beaches
And a kiss for those who stay
Having to sleep seven hours a day
Going to work while it’s still dark
Everything always the same, hour after hour
Goodbye to an orderly life

Back in the day it did not remind me of the poem by Fernando Pessoa, but it does today, O Quinto Imperio

Sad for one who is happy!
Who lives because life goes on.
Nothing within the soul speaks
Beyond the lesson from the root—
To make life a grave.

Sad for one who stays at home,
Content beside their hearth,
Without a dream that, on taking wing,
Makes the embers glow still brighter
In the fire left behind.

Once, I had to love “N’América” - an anthem of an unsettled desire for something new - an open question, would I find a better life in the U.S. ending a question:

And I’ll have to leave, and I’ll have to go
Finally, you’ll see
What might have been, what I might have had

What once sounded like the energy of youth now speaks to wondering how to spend the years ahead. And where...

Making room for a different life in Portugal

Over the last four years, we have put down new roots in a Portuguese community where we initially knew no one.

That has been one of the most rewarding experiences of this stage of our lives. We have made friends from all over the world. Some have backgrounds, ideas and experiences very different from ours. On paper, we might not seem to have much in common. But we are here, sharing a place and getting to know one another. Friendship has grown from that.

At this age, it is easy to assume that your circle is largely settled. You have your work, your family, your old friends and your familiar habits. Building relationships somewhere new has reminded me how much can still happen when you make yourself available. It has also made spending time in Portugal feel less like vacation and more like being part of a community.

For anyone thinking about moving to Portugal, that distinction is key. Finding a home and sorting out the practical details are basic stuff. But, making a life that you want to live is what keeps you going..

Portugal can be frustrating. But, I still want it to be Portugal

There have certainly been challenges. Bureaucracy will wear you down. Poor customer service can turn a straightforward task into an ordeal. Some things simply do not make sense. Those frustrations are real. They are part of the experience, and anyone considering a move needs to think about them.

What I hope is that Portugal can continue to evolve while keeping the qualities that make it special. I want to understand the place and contribute to it. Learning to live there means rethinking so much, and remembering what we often forget. Portuguese love o argue, but if there is one thing that unties them it is community. And, if the nation is at risk, being from COVID, or a Spanish army at Montes Claros - then the nation comes together. We all see the sky....

“Não Sou o Único”: a song you have to hear again

With so much in the United States feeling unsettled, “Não Sou o Único” has taken on a new meaning for me.

Listening in now, I hear a reminder that all everyone has their struggles, and we are all left trying to find a way. We can feel isolated by what we see in the news, or the social media feed we fall into, its boosts our worries as well as our differences.

Perhaps that is an anthem some Americans could use right now: No one is alone, we all face our own issues; that's a good reason to look at one another, and keep going. We all see the sky, and count of it's graces to survive

For a long time that has been Portugal. People do not need identical viewpoints to care about one another. Sometimes the connection begins simply because you are there.

“Não Sou o Único”

Zé Pedro

You think I’m an isolated case
I’m not the only one looking at the sky
Watching dreams slip away
Waiting for something to happen
Sending away my anger
Living through emotions
Longing for what I never had
Clinging to temptations 

And when the clouds part
The blue sky will stay
And when the darkness breaks
You’ll see, the sun will shine
You’ll see, the sun will shine 

No, I’m not the only one
I’m not the only one looking at the sky
No, I’m not the only one
I’m not the only one looking at the sky 

You think I’m an isolated case
I’m not the only one looking at the sky
Listening to other people’s advice
And always falling into gaps
Longing for what I never had
Clinging to what I don’t have 

No, I’m not the only one
I’m not the only one looking at the sky 

And when the clouds part
The blue sky will saty
And when the darkness breaks
You’ll see, the sun will shine